Desperate Trinitarian Journalist Interviews Jesus & Friends

Interviewing Jesus

Even if Jesus himself said he was not a trinity, trinitarians still wouldn’t “get it”….


Trinitarian: Good morning folks. We are very blessed to have with us today Jesus Christ and some of the Apostles. We really appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedules to come back down here to earth for this interview. We’re especially excited to have you here with us Jesus. I mean, you are God Himself, which makes this the most exciting interview of my life, because you are so good!

Jesus“Why do you call me good? Nobody is good except one, God.” – Luke 18:19

Trinitarian: That’s what I’m saying! Tell me, what’s it like not having to take orders from anybody?

Jesus: “I have come down from heaven to do, not my own will, but the will of him who sent me.” – John 6:38

Trinitarian: Excuse me? Are we interviewing the right person here? I was hoping to speak with God.

 

“While he was still speaking, look! a bright cloud overshadowed them, and look! a voice out of the cloud said: “This is my Son, the beloved, whom I have approved. Listen to him.”” – Matthew 17:5

 

Trinitarian: Whoa! Who’s voice was that?

Jesus“It is my Father who glorifies me, the one who you say is your God.” – John 8:54

Trinitarian: I think you’re just messing with me Jesus. Surely you told your first century followers that you were God.

Jesus(Opens bible and shows it to reporter) “Jesus said to her: “Stop clinging to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father and to my God and your God.’” – John 20:17

Trinitarian: Don’t be silly Jesus. We all know you and him are one.

Jesus“I know your deeds, that you have the name that you are alive, but you are dead. Become watchful,… for I have not found your works fully performed before my God.” – Revelation 3:1, 2

Trinitarian: Wait a minute! You’re Jesus! You don’t have a God. We just have to put faith in your name.

Jesus“The one who conquers—I will make him a pillar in the temple of my God, and he will by no means go out from it anymore, and I will write upon him the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the New Jerusalem that descends out of heaven from my God, and my own new name.” – Revelation 3:12

Trinitarian: We’d like to take a moment to apologize to our viewers. It seems that the trip from heaven to earth has given Jesus a little jet lag. Let’s move on to the Apostle Paul… Good morning Paul. You wrote so many books of the New Testament. Do you have anything you want to say before we get started?

Apostle Paul: “We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you” – Colossians 1:3

Trinitarian: Pardon?

Apostle Paul:“I continue mentioning you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the accurate knowledge of him.” – Ephesians 1:16, 17

Trinitarian: Okay, so listen Paul. Jesus is already a little disoriented, thinking that he has a God over him when we know he is God himself. So if you could, please, try to be a little clearer. Come on Paul, just tell it like it is.

Apostle Paul: “I want you to know that the head of every man is the Christ; in turn, the head of a woman is the man; in turn, the head of the Christ is God.” – 1 Corinthians 11:3

Trinitarian: Okay, forget you. Let’s get Peter over here…. Peter, would you PLEASE look at Jesus and explain him who the Christ REALLY is?

Apostle Peter: “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” – Matthew 16:16

Trinitarian: Now stop that! Tell us the truth. What did you tell your readers in your letters in the New Testament?

Apostle Peter: “He is at God’s right hand, for he went to heaven.” – 1 Peter 3:22

Trinitarian: Grrr!… We have one last Apostle to interview. The beloved apostle John is a favorite for us trinitarians. Tell us John – why did you write your gospel?

Apostle John“These have been written down so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and because of believing, you may have life by means of his name.” – John 20:31

Trinitarian: Well clearly, we’re not getting anywhere, and something has gotten to each and every one of you. I understand you are all confused, and while I wish I could explain the trinity to you, it is beyond human understanding. Let me end this interview by just saying that what we’ve learned here today is that if trinitarians try to ask questions, read the scriptures, and think for themselves, they might come to a different conclusion. But you don’t have to worry about doing any of that. All you have to do is believe.

 

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